My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
