ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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