Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
