absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
