It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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