Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
