I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he was CRYING into my vagina
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
