Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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