Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
