wrigley field is MILF paradise
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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