Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He felt like a one man threesome
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
