she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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