Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize