I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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