I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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