I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
