I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
