I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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