i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
