I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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