I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize