It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
