I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
