I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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