my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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