You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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