Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize