How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
