Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
