i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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