Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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