His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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