Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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