Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
my nose is crying tears of wow.
pray to the hookup gods
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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