whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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