OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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