i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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