Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
