So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
