Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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