they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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