worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
