Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i love accidental penises.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
