the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
