She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
