the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
