also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
