Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
