I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
