o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
