we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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