the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize