I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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