Having a random hookup so left but love u
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize