yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
