new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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