She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
