five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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