Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize